I was born in 1977. Saturday morning cartoons and ✨ The Wonderful World of Disney" ✨ Sunday evening movies were staples of my childhood. I believed the fairytales... Not specifically the magical elements per se, but the ideologies that were reinforced over and over again with each new Disney princess on her journey to her own happily ever after. I fell in love with shiny and sparkly and pretty and thin. I too wanted my own Prince Charming and happily ever after someday. I received the messages loud and clear. I also played over and over again with the few Barbies that I called mine. I did not have Barbie's dream house, camper, or car, but I imagined so many lavish accessories and mansions for her in the stories that I created in my play. I would fashion beautiful ball gowns for Barbie out of small scraps of fabric or even old socks in an effort to be her own Fairy Godmother.
A glimpse of the sparkly blue Cinderella ballgown fabric would make my heart flutter as a child, and I wonder if Disney was intentional about Cinderella's dress color and perhaps chose a similar blue as the one associated with the famous jewelry maker Tiffany & Company and their trademark "Tiffany Blue."
In my mind the trademark blue and Cinderella's luxurious ballgown are the exact same shade.
Once upon a time, I had the opportunity to portray Cinderella myself as a guest at Princess Aurora's wedding in the 2nd Act of the ballet Sleeping Beauty.
I was grown up by this point (pun intended), but I was still holding close to the same idealized dreams of
happily ever after and
Prince Charming showing up at the exact right moment to sweep me off my feet! If anything, those dreams now seemed even more real and attainable as I was no longer a little girl playing with dolls, but a young woman ready to commence this chapter of my own narrative.
For a while it seemed as though my fairytale had come true. And then it didn't. And when real life no longer fits the narrative that we have been fed our entire lives, we begin to doubt everyone and everything. We start to look back at those princesses and maybe even question if we are instead more like the "ugly stepsisters" who, in the Grimm version of the story, actually mutilated their own feet to try and squeeze them into the tiny glass slipper and satisfy the ridiculous prince who can't even remember what his chosen future wife even looks like after meeting her for only a few hours. 👀
In her article Unlearning the Myths That Bind Us, Linda Christensen describes similar examples of the stereotypes and ideological conditioning that is interwoven into the very fabric of many cartoons and movies. At one point she directly pushes back against two of the big myths that exist in Cinderella - that true happiness is only achieved when getting a man, and that we can only achieve that happiness through transformation that involves material and physical changes. I would add a third big one here in that Cinderella also falsely teaches that transformation can't happen simply through hard work, effort and positive attitudes but rather a magical intervention. With or without my own addition, Christensen argues that as a teacher she is "uncomfortable with those messages." She states: "I don't want students to believe that change can be bought at the mall, nor do I want them thinking that the pinnacle of a woman's life is an 'I do' that supposedly leads them to a 'happily ever after'." (Christensen, 2016, p. 182)
For me, the disillusionment happened when I realized I was living in a nightmare, not a fairytale. The fear of admitting that I was not in a fairytale was terrifying. I felt like I had in some way failed. The realizations of the disconnect between fairytale and reality can lead to all kinds of dangerous emotional situations. As was discussed in class with Beauty and the Beast, essentially the underlying message may be that if we wait in a dangerous and abusive situation long enough, then we will eventually meet our Prince and enjoy our "happily ever after." This is dangerous. As both a teacher and a parent, this discourse is incredibly important. We need to be cognizant of underlying messages that exist in "harmless" entertainment.
Lastly, below I'm sharing a link to a humorous video portraying what it might be like to be dating a modern day Disney Prince. Enjoy!
hank you so much for sharing this deeply reflective and powerful piece. Your writing beautifully weaves together nostalgia, personal experience, and critical insight in a way that is both moving and eye-opening.
ReplyDeleteI was especially struck by the honesty in how you described the emotional impact of growing up immersed in fairytales—not just the sparkle and gowns, but the core ideologies that told us what love, happiness, and womanhood should look like. Your observation about Cinderella’s dress color possibly being aligned with Tiffany Blue is so sharp—it really shows how even color symbolism can carry luxury and aspiration, even for children. The idea that this visual cue might have subconsciously connected glamour, wealth, and "dreams coming true" is such a compelling point.
Your connection to Christensen’s “Unlearning the Myths That Bind Us” is seamless, and your added insight about the myth of magical intervention versus transformation through personal effort is absolutely necessary. You’ve pushed the conversation forward in a meaningful way—because it’s not just about critiquing gender roles or beauty standards, but also questioning the toxic idea that we need external rescue to live a fulfilled life.
I was especially moved by your honest reflection on disillusionment—that painful realization that life doesn’t always follow the neat arc of a fairytale, and the emotional toll that can take. When you mentioned feeling like a "failed fairytale," it hit me. So many people carry that hidden grief when life doesn’t match the fantasy they were conditioned to believe in. And yes, that disconnect can lead to real emotional harm—especially when the stories we loved taught us to endure, wait, or change ourselves to earn love.
Your reference to Beauty and the Beast as a cautionary tale was also spot on. When media teaches young people—especially girls—that love requires suffering or that redemption comes through endurance, we’re reinforcing dangerous patterns.
This post is everything critical literacy should be—personal, vulnerable, analytical, and unapologetically real. Thank you for bringing so much truth and heart to this conversation. I’ll definitely be watching the video you linked (and probably seeing Disney princes in a whole new light). 👑💔✨
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ReplyDeleteYou are absolutely right about the hidden (or not so hidden) messages in media. They set the standard and we have two options: do what they say (even if it's not who we are) or live your truth and feel as if you are not welcome in the world. I think the best possible antidote is to form a community that accepts you. I feel so much joy when I see youth surround themselves with people who support them, but I worry about the young, and old, people who don't have that.
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